i sat on the corner's of heaven's pearly gates i sat. peter was there, a gentle father abraham, and the fruits of the tree of life looked so luscious. well, all i could do is accept jesus and step in and enjoy the warmth( lovelier than the sun it was). but i thought of earth, of that one last drink of beer i could have, one last tryst, one last lie, one last puff of marijuana......
the presence of sin felt so welcoming. and i looked up to heaven. and thought of the many evil men who went there only by confessing at the last minute and i told God no, book me a space, am coming back. and now am old and my days are done, my life is wasted, i have beared no fruit. and i look up to God and the day when i sat beside heaven's gate, at all the blessings i had missed, of how my life was now even more empty, and i ask" God why is it so hard to accept you when i know you are the best!"
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