usiogope

there are many things that one is privileged to fear in this life ... and i have had my share ... though in the sea of fear ... am yet to add a drop of the craven ... but now to things that have really given me the creeps in my young life

• the Christmas Tree... don't get me wrong ... have nothing against that ice-cream shaped little cute tree with a misplaced star on top ... its just that at my paros place there is this huge tree ... i think it is a podo ... and it is really scary ... especially when i was much shorter than i am right now ... it is enormous and so tightly-meshed with dark green leaf and if you ever perch beneath it for shadow ... you will be welcomed with an eerie din ... and a constant pecking sound that my sister claims must be a python ... my mum wanted to 'trim' (her idea of the word is to lop the tree into a measly half) another time ... but i damnedestly clung to the fact that mr and mrs.stork had nested there recently and were expecting to have babies and it would be very inhuman to cut it down ... so at last the xmas tree was saved thanks to me ... keep green mr. christmas tree!
• coffins ... i have always been disgusted by the shape, size , features, boola boola ... i have this loonish superstition that if a coffin is the last thing i see before i go to bed, something very sinister will happen ... though i have never had the courage to discover what the sinister thing is ... but i always ensure that i gaze at something more enlightening before i catch my share of forty winks
• turning twenty ... am now 21 but that does not mean am in a constant state of panic ... though it took a while to adjust to the fact that i was no longer a teen when i hit 2 decades ... i just realized that age was just a number and i could keep on doing the things i love doing till my limbs give away with age and tear
• lizards ... i really hate those reptilians ... once saw one in highschool that had two tails ... like at the same time ... shock of my system ... it probably saw that i was afraid of it because it literally jumped and am not kidding, and landed on my shoulder ... hate to remember how i got it off ... but somehow i believe that reptiles all over the world have started a campaign to scare me in similar fashion because the other day i sat down on a comfy chair only to find out that i had squashed a pair of mating frog ... but the worst was when i was young and was walking back home after walking miles into the wilderness to search for some wild fruits courtesy of a friend who told me how sweet they are ... as i walk i felt something cold against my leg ... but i dismissed it to be the wind ... then i enter the living room and my mum screams ... a full-sized(1.5M) snake had wrapped itself round my leg for warmth!
• teachers ... this is a fear that i have been able to outgrow ... but i was always ready to jump at my skin when i met my teachers on the road ... one day in my primo days ... i was carrying a particularly heavy piece of luggage with my sisters ... and were glad about the progress we had made with our small feet ... then all these teachers appear ahead of us coming from some TSC meeting ... we skittered back home with luggage ... hid in a corner to let them pass without noticing us ... only when the coast was clear did we realize what a task it had been to trudge uphill with the load.
• tintin ... he was a large, overfriendly dog that we kept ... though he kept marauders and waylayers at bay with his steel-shod fangs and eerie bark, he also succesfully locked me within when he was out ... he used to jump at me till i fell down then like a lion protecting its kill would proceed to lick me all over ... gross! nways RIP tintin
• mamsap ... there was this old lady who lived alone in a little hilltop ... rumors said she spent the night as a black cat ... and once i walk up at midnight and cast a glance outside only to find a black cat sitting on the window sill ... its form immensely 'creepefied' by the moonshine ... i nearly got a heart attack ... which is not a good thing at such an early age ... nways mamsap was said to be a witch who cut up the ears of kids who misbehaved and cooked it for her dinner so that she could turn into a black cat ... the thought was enough to keep me squeaky clean...
• the nandi bear fur coat ... my mum had a purple fake fur coat ... quite beautiful it was when i look back at it in retrospect ... but she embellished her purchase by saying that her brother had knitted it for her from the very coat he had skinned of from a nandi bear (read my previous article) which she said her brother had bravely killed ... any mention of the nandi bear always increased my heart palpitations ... which goes without saying that i could never be left in a room where that nandi bear fur coat was hanging.
• mr. J.E.B Williams ... my highschool headmaster ... no one ever got to know what names his first three initials stood for ... he was a tall man, white, very british and with dry wit ... when i think of him i remember a man with an overwhelming personality ... who never minded walking to a meeting with gumboots direct from the muddy school farm much to the shame/disgust of the BOD who must have spent the entire morning trying out the appropriate attire... he was always keen to catch anyone committing a goofy mistake (which could have been anything like laughing out louder than the rest of the crowd when he made a joke) ... down to the farm with a heavy jembe for you it would be ... or probably you would be told to go and feed and wash the pigs ... now that would not have been very necessarily bad were it not for the fact that those hogs were enormous, canniballistic, stinky malformations of a genetic engineering experiment with pigs that had backfired
• KCSE ... i always waited with trepidation for this big day which was going to culminate everything we had done in high school ... i was not like in the top ten or anything ... but i always wished to pass ... when i saw that i had gotten an A-(minus) grade i was on top of the moon
• kapenguria 59 ... it was the dreary room i got when i was in second-year ... am in lower kabete campus UON where am taking a BCOMM degree and we kind of shift rooms every year ... all my friends got these nice, freshly-painted rooms and laughed with mocking glee when they came to visit me in my dreary hovel ... it looked so gloomy when i first stepped in ... some shadows never lifting in spite of all the electric bulbs you could put on ... but thanks to a friend who is a wiz in interior design ... i was able to refurbish the room with cheap stuff i got from secret spots in town ... and when i was going to third-year ... it was like the most marvelous room in kapenguria ( a second-year hall in lower kabete)
• now for something i would love to fear ... if you have happened to read through my list, please be kind enough to tell me some of your worst fears in life ... yeah, i love that hair-raising, pulsating feel i get when reading through such nasty renditions