i have always felt like a puppy ... reaching out for people for love and appreciation ... but i guess it is time i become a full-fledged wolf ... am getting out of campus soon in quest for my own life and destiny ... i kinda feel like frodo in middle-earth ... all so short and small with all this gaunt orcs hovering around me ... but i have spirit in me so i guess things will not turn out as bad as they did to another
am reminded intensely of home ... we had a garden i said ... no, it was an orchard ... a fruit orchard and i used to sit there whiling away time when i was a kid ... my parents would get scared ... what is wrong with our child ... why doesn't he find friends to play with ... yea, i was mostly a sulky kid who looked so sad for those who do not understand me ... but i was happy ... in one way or another i was ... even though i could stay still under the lemon shade for long no one would know i was having conversations with the tree
the most amazing thing is that trees can talk ... this does not mean i have descended into any form of celtic paganisms but i can sure understand where they came from ... christianity as described by the first missionaries and many of the so -called charismatic churchmen has really done its best to distance us from certain truths about mother earth
and one of those truths is that trees have souls ... they feel, breathe and gossip as the rest of us ... they also have dreams to and appreciate those who come close to them to take shelter under their shade ... the trees that grew up in my parents farm remain fondly in my heart ... i have saved their lives countless of times when my folks threatened to cut them down ... and them in their part welcomed me to their most tender secrets ... on their branches, i dreamt of a time when the world was a great jungle and the whole human race was squeezed into little pockets that the trees left us with ... for a long time i did hope that the trees would come and reclaim their own
but here i am and the only world before me is the corporate jungle ... full of fancy gentlemen and fancy ladies in fancy attires, driving fancy cars, speaking fancy English and being all fancy formal ... may be that works ... but for me the only real freedom i ever hard was when i was in my garden
who knows may be the present world system will collapse like the ancient maya kingdom and we could all safely go back to our own farms and talk to the trees ... that would be theraupetic ... but still we would not have aspirin on an aching day ... there would be no dvds to watch desperate housewives ... the honest truth about the world will be cut out from us and we will sink back to fantasy and imagination ... or would people be what they are and seek the truth as it is ... i do not know
well, am just a tired student ... tired of all the competition and all the dreams ... all the goals and all the ambitions ... as you slowly get older and await to die ... i want my garden back ... somehow ... i want to reach to it and shut the rest of the world away from me
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