IN OUR FAMILY WE HAVE HAD CATS FOR AS LONG AS I CARE TO REMEMBER. THE FOLLOWING ARE TIPS I HAVE GATHERED FROM THOSE FELINE COMPANIONS. THEY HAVE REALLY INSISTED THAT I ACT ON THEM BUT I HAVE ALWAYS LACKED THE COURAGE. MAY BE YOU, DEAR READER, ARE INTREPID ENOUGH TO ACT LIKE A CAT WHEN VISITING FRIENDS.
gently push their door without knocking. proceed to the windowsill without greeting anyone and sit on it. stare absent-mindedly outside. suddenly spring on a sofa two metres away and fall dead asleep. wake up after an hour and demand for food. if no food, act frightened, jump out of the window and run away. otherwise enjoy.
if someone else is using the toilet, simply go outside and find a spot with soft earth. scoop away the soil with your hands to create a small hole. defecate on it. rake back the earth to cover your treasure. sniff it a bit. if still smelly, prop up more earth. walk away as if nothing happened.
before entering the house, pee around it to mark it as your territory. if host gets out, pee on him also and shout 'you are mine'
as host goes to the kitchen to prepare a snack, proceed to hang on the curtains or to sit on the tv. once spotted dive under the table and purr.
sit on your host's lap while watching tv even if you are of the same sex. rub yourself lovingly and lick their hands. demand to be stroked.
jump from their laps once you see an ant moving on the floor. start playing with the insect and make sure your eyes are as wide as saucers.
grab all the drumsticks once lunch is prepared and dive under the dining table with it. groan and scratch if someone dares to peer at you.
be garbed in one garment every time you visit. it is a method cats employ for identification and can work well with humans ... grey-turtleneck-john, purple-jumper-laura
if spending the night and host directs you to the shower, freak at the mention of water. remove your clothes and lick away dirt spots. beam with a smile and say that you are clean. you will need to have practised yoga beforehand to reach all parts of your anatomy
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3 comments:
dude you need comments moderation like real urgent...
Me I hate cats, okay i like them when they belong to someone else and live in someone else's house.
Ish, lakini that digging a hole in the garden to poop looks like a nice idea...lol
Yeah, I second Potash; Jeff's trying to take over.
Cats are lots of fun. I, being a dude, [last time I checked anyway] have learned quite a bit from cats too since they were always around me. They taught me a lot, about chicks especially, I daresay, coz chicks are really proud creatures but still beg to be stroked! lol!
@d(R) ... point well taken, i'll do something about it ... it is interesting that you should love cats while your profile carries an image of a cheeky mouse ... may be it is all a new beginning for felines and rodents ... thanks a lot for passing by
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